buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i've been having a depressive swing ALL SUMMER. it's not like a dangerous depression or even a SAD one.....just tired, uninterested, empty, stuff like that. i don't feel like doing anything, i don't feel like saying anything, i just stay inside & do nothing. everybody else is fine, or as fine as they ever get. they keep telling me school starting will change things and yunno what? i HOPE so.

triangles

Jan. 3rd, 2013 04:22 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i dragged out my diagram notebook again and make a diagram we're gonna show the therapist. remember the triangles? well i FINALLY added the 'ball' that i mentioned. the diagram does the triangles-in-circle thing to show insiders and consciousness, then the ball to show memory. AND cuz it doesn't have names on it, nobody can object to me showing it to the therapist!
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i wanna rename my journal bug in a rug. cuz at our best in here we're all snug as a bug in a rug! *grin*
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
^wy says he's gonna tutor me & ^merrick in math. provided that, yunno, our communication is good enough to talk with each other..... i say we'll MAKE it work. i'm kinda excited about learning intermediate algebra. i was there for our algebra classes in 5th/6th grade, so i've got a basic idea how it works — and that's true for ^merrick too. the biggest issue i think is gonna be making sure no one can listen in on where we're being tutored.

i guess

Jun. 6th, 2012 04:01 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i guess therapy goes a lot smoother when you can remember what happened last session. and when the person going to therapy isn't constantly getting interrupted by insiders talking to them.

we'll know better next time.

decisions

Apr. 28th, 2012 02:08 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
anyways, we decided 'screw this class!' for programming logic on the last day when we were gonna ask for an incomplete. it just hit us that we wanna learn this stuff from a prof who knows what ey's doing. if we fail, we'll take it over again from somebody competent. & we'll do it AFTER therapy gets us working together better. so, yea.

we got an appointment with a therapist who apparently has some experience with dissociation. i'm hoping she's somebody we can work with cuz we really need this therapy and some of us have trouble trusting people. if she makes us dissociate going in there, that's.....not gonna work out so good.

we're taking 'beginning keyboarding' this summer. by fall we better be cooperating so we can get back into real education. half-time isn't going to get us to our associate's degree very fast, so we can't be lagging too much.

tuesday

Apr. 8th, 2012 07:09 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
gonna see the psychiatrist on tuesday. i dunno if he really believes we're plural, but this time we've actually got some evidence of dissociation or at least some issues with (i think it's called) internally-focused state-dependent memory.

body-mom is gonna ask him to write us a note for class where we can give it to the profs to explain what's going on. like to say we're sometimes more able than other times to recall information and work on projects — not saying dissociation or 'multiple personalities', but explaining why sometimes we can do one thing and sometimes we can't. ehhh, she says it better than that, but that's the basics.

we're taking:
[1] the paper i posted a couple days ago
[2] a list of the times and situations where an insider was in the wrong place at the wrong time
&
[3] some of the switch triggers we've noticed (only one identified so far but we're working on that)

body-mom isn't actually going this time cuz she's gotta work, so we're going with body-dad. this time i'm not gonna try to come to the front during the appointment. it'll be better if ^merrick can just tell him straightforward without interruptions. we wanna get this figured out and we hope to have the psychiatrist's help.

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buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
jeanniNe a.k.a. JJ

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