buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
cuz it's essential one insider can write on lj/dw & another can hold a conversation with somebody irl.

missing him

Dec. 1st, 2012 10:19 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
tonight marks a week ^wyatt's been gone. i REALLY miss him. ^toby is no replacement. he's really.....damaged. ^wy could present as fairly 'normal' if you didn't need him to talk, but that's not true of ^toby, and DEFINITELY not true of ^toby/^wy. i wish he would come back soon. we ALL do.
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
our writing samples project is gonna be:
a character reveals a secret
in 500~1000 words
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
we're gonna do writing samples from any insider who's willing. we just need a fictional situation that's open for exploration. anybody got ideas??
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
if i had a superpower, it would be shapeshifting. we'd be able to shift between the forms the insiders take.

i'd turn into a 15y/o girl 4'9" and skinny with ice blue eyes and spiky white-blond hair. i think i'd hafta shift clothes too, so i'd wear shorts and an orange tank top and some of those new athletic toe shoes.

^kv would turn into a 30y/o male 6'1" with dark hair and dark-dark brown eyes, he'd be really masculine and well built and he'd have that powerful, dark and smoldering with sexuality look except people would see that he'd never deign to involve himself with THEM. inbuilt arrogance all the way! i guess he'd wear some kind of uniform that gave him authority.

^wyatt would turn into a man in his 20s, 5'9½" and lean/muscular with longish wavy brown hair and stormy (he likes that description!) bluegreen eyes. [actually if you read his journal, he's got this really long vanity post where he describes himself in detail....!] the clothes he'd shift to would be business formal with a nice tie.

^isah would turn into an androgynous 17y/o, 5'7½" with one amber eye & one turquoise, faux hawk hair that's light blond with chocolate brown patches. clothes would be cargo shorts and a hoodie sweatshirt.

i think ^merrick would look a lot like the body now but with gray eyes and smaller boobs. *grin*
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
isah: whee i <3 this!
merrick: ugh...not after that muffin
wyatt: *gone*
kv: ....
jeanniNe: ok....hey, this might actually be fun

looks!

Apr. 1st, 2012 06:44 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
if i had any attention to detail, i'd TOTALLY try ^webber's vanity post. *laugh* he made this enormous list of physical traits that he identifies with. i swear i know i've got pale skin & ice-blue eyes & white-blond hair & i'm skinny.....beyond that? who knows! i don't think ANY of us insiders identify fully with the body's looks, but most of us aren't THAT specific. *grin*

curses!

Mar. 21st, 2012 01:30 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i'm writing this partly cuz ^merrick wants it recorded but doesn't have anyplace to put it, but i'm gonna put my take on it too so that it's right for MY journal.

i think i've talked about our school arrangements before but i'll sum them up here. last term we took business computer applications & interpersonal communication. we got into the habit of going together, took turns somewhat, but the turn-taking was....softer, like usually all 3 of us were there, which — now — we're realizing was prolly a good thing. anyways, we planned to do roughly the same thing this term, with programming logic & fundamentals of algebra.

so yesterday ^merrick goes into programming logic alone. (we're getting MORE dysfunctional when it comes to switching, you'd think it'd be the other way around! we can't force anybody to the front without major dissociation.) the prof says it's the class where we're working on project 1. ^merrick sits down and opens the un-modified code and the hierarchy chart......and gets nothing.

turn-taking went so well that programming logic knowledge — the practical stuff, not from reading the chapters or listening to lectures — is confined to the insider who was closest to the front when the students were taught flowcharting and how to decipher/modify code. so ^merrick sits there in class and tries to call ^kv to the front, but of course trying to get him there means dissociation.

these days any effort to go against 'natural' switching just results in zoning out/depersonalization/derealization type stuff.....and natural switching is totally dysfunctional. broken. it doesn't bring the RIGHT insider for the job to the front anymore. it's like we're losing control of system workings.

this brings to mind having the wrong insider at the front for the last math test too. that better not happen again tomorrow!

we thought turn-taking in classes was gonna be good for us, but it backfired. now what?? (advice is welcome, if you've got some.)
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
mm so i've got personal icon thingies for all insiders on my profile page but i got inspired to try facemaker and make everybody. so here's my post with pics of the human insiders....

pics! )

.....and that's us!
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
this week is spring break. i thought i'd be more excited, but i'm kinda bored. the surgery is gonna be on friday and i want it to come soon but i don't wanna waste spring break hoping for something that'll happen at the end. ehh, i dunno. i guess we've got extra time to read or write or whatever.

side note — i updated my all about us canvas to include the newbies. *smile*
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i think we've got our recent dissociative problems worked out.....

banning newcomers from the front = stability and minimal dissociation

newcomers who want to stay away from the front = zero

the resultant conflict isn't helping.
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
ha, i FINALLY finished rewriting the insiders post! have a look?
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
we're welcoming two new insiders to the group. we're gonna write up a little about them to put in my list. if you wanna know RIGHT NOW, they're already in the image on my profile.

we did do xmas today and it was awesome. *grin* i WILL write more about it some other time.

2 things!

Nov. 28th, 2011 06:02 pm
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
there's been a couple changes inside. the insider formerly called 'helen' is now going to be known as 'merrick'. he's identifying as FTM now, and the two guys want the body to be seen as masculine. (anybody who's seen a picture of us knows that's never gonna happen.... *sighs*) also there's possibly another insider, but we're not totally sure yet.

today ^kv's (& now ^merrick's too) new thing came in the mail. i THINK we got away with getting a package and not being asked about what's in it. i HOPE so. it'd be really hard to say that it's a....thing.
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i found a website called lino & made a canvas about the system.

take a peek at all about us, right? :D
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
JJ / jeanniNe
manic-volcanic teenage genderbender. bipolar 1 (hypo)manic/mixed. outgoing, ESxP/7, people lover! this is MY journal so i don't really need to introduce myself more than i already did in my profile. i'm co-host of the system and one of the primary 3 frontrunners.

merrick
early 20s, asexual bigender. bipolar 1 mixed/depressed, ddnos/did. total introvert INFP/4w5. formerly known as ^helen who's formerly known as ^laur. obsessed with writing and languages. on course in college for a computer support tech 2yr degree, in which the main frontrunners will participate. co-host/one of the primary 3 frontrunners.

kendrick victor / KV
adult male, very type 8, hard to get along with but prolly good for the group. committed to actually doing something. math/science guy, powerful, forceful. likes coffee, green tea, and things that occupy his brain. frequently engages in schadenfreude. formerly a fiction-oriented split from 'star trek: voyager' but decided to forsake that fictional source and reclaim his original place in the system. self-appointed commander of the system. ha!

isah
perpetually 17, intersex, free magic creature with the other form human with chimerism and chimera otherkin. former protector. 9w8 closest. strong with a sense of humor, but troubles with anger and disloyalty. has existed as long as ^JJ. in the process of redefining herself after a long dormancy in which our whole situation changed.

wyatt
male with a feminine side, late 20s to 30yo, enneagram 6/ISxJ, quiet, not sure about trusting people with anything more detailed....yeayea

toby
7y/o boy, quiet, likes crafts (crayons, collage, clay, etc.) and plants/gardening

the plant
yea, it's a shapeshifting semi-sentient plant. age & gender uncertain. protector. how better to protect yourself than turning into a tree??

pretty little blue-eyed beast / pretty little beast with blue eyes
child human (4 to 5yrs old) with bright blue eyes. acts like an animal, outside either deaf or severe auditory processing problems, throws tantrums, bites the body's wrists and forearms at night leaving bruises, very likely autistic. likes weather & dinosaurs
buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
i never thought i'd see the day when ^pretty little beast was accepted into the system again. i outed it cuz i was sick of being blamed for biting the body's wrists at night. but then, umm, yunno, maybe we'll actually be able to tame it....or something?? i hope we get it to stop sharpening its pretty little teeth on MY skin! anyways, we're all getting into having our own hobbies, so maybe ^PLB can find something to entertain itself -- or, hey, soothe itself somehow. anything for those teeth....!! -JJ

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buginarug: an androgynous blond young person leaning against a mirror and looking at the reflection (Default)
jeanniNe a.k.a. JJ

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